Classic move

I'm not going to write about how much I love facebook because I understand how lame that seems (in reality it is not lame if you value reconnecting with old friends who live back home when you are far away); but I will share the following stunt I fall for every time without fail:

Old Friend (via FB message): "OMG!!!! How are you?!?! What have you been up to the past few years? How did you end up in DC? Catch me up!!!!!!*"

*Please notice the subtle difference between the above overuse of punctuation and the Susan T. Sholtes-style over use. In the latter, there is a premature removal of the shift key resulting in something resembling: !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!111111.

Me: "Hello Old Friend! It's been such a long time- I hope you are well!" (Long, thorough, time-consuming message reply ensues that would probably average 2 type-written pages "catching up" old friend on my life and what I've been up to) "So that's my story, how have you been? What have you been up to for the past few years?"

(crickets)

[Old Friend is gone and (1) is laughing hysterically that I actually took the time to "catch him/her up"; and (2) immediately forgets this ever happened and doesn't have the wherewithal to reciprocate.]

WITSH? (What In The Sam Hill?) How do these people sleep at night? Why do I continue this destructive and embarrassing behavior?

I cannot help myself. I am an over-sharer.