If I were a boy

One of my favorite tracks on "I am Sasha Fierce" - partially because it's a catchy tune and partially because Beyonce correctly uses the subjunctive mood ("were" instead of "was").  But seriously ladies- have you ever thought about it?  If you were a boy?  Beyonce has.  And so have I.

If I were a boy...

1.  I'd dress like Tom Wolfe.  That is one dapper, tiny man who may not have the most brilliant prose of his time (sorry Tom), but his books are fun to read, and he's always rocking white after Labor Day.

2.  I'd have a sweet tooth.  What's up with men not liking sweets?  Don't they know that's the only thing most women really want to cook (and eat for that matter)?  How is a fatty steak and a burned baked potato better than a delicious, moist, rich bite of red velvet cake with cream cheese frosting? 

3.  I'd read books.  And not just nonfiction biographies of founding fathers or professional golf memoirs.  I'm talking Hemingway and Tolstoy, boys.  Do men realize how sexy it is when they recognize an all too often Lady Brett Ashley reference?  Literature isn't rocket science, and even rocket science isn't that hard. 

4.  I'd care what I looked like naked (like Matt Lauer here obviously does- God bless him).  I don't mean this in a raunchy way - honest.  I just mean that men have it so easy - their metabolism is through the roof and they could skip one beer a day and lose 5 pounds without lifting a finger.  Come on.  Women obsess over our physical appearance with diet and exercise, yet we still have cellulite, spider veins, and Lord knows what else.  So get a gym membership and break a sweat for pete's sake.











If I were a boy, I'd definitely ask me out for cocktails.

xo